Only a mom...

The following are small portions of conversations I've had with my children throughout today. Only a mother would hear things like this.

My 14 year-old son came to me this afternoon with a nearly empty box of chocolates he had received from his little sister for Valentine's Day.
Me (questioning the 5 year-old): Mac, did you eat his chocolates?
Mac: Only one.
Me: There are many more than just one missing. There are about 12 missing. Why did you eat so many of his chocolates?
Mac: Well, I wanted one with the pink stuff in the middle, but I kept getting ones with other stuff. I had to keep trying.

My oldest daughter, who now lives on her own, called while I was in the car a little while ago.
A: Mom, what's the non-emergency number for the police department?
Me: (I give her the number). Is everything okay?
A: Yea, a homeless guy just keeps pee'ing on the mailbox.

My son(earlier this afternoon): Mom, can I fry a hambuger patty? I mean, like deep fry it.

Mac: I love you mommy.
Me: I love you, too, ladybug.
Mac (giving me a big hug): You're the best mommy I've ever had.